I Have A Sore Throat

I'm sorry! 
You came into the pharmacy ranting and raving about a sore throat you have and was wondering what I could recommend to help you.
While politely trying to interrupt you to redirect you over to the pharmacy advice area I couldn't help but stare at the red, round, shiny rash on your shoulder.
Lady!! You have ringworm for petes sake and you're worried about your voice and throat.
Does this not concern you?
I mean really.............
Yuck!

It Happens

My Life is at Risk!

The other day we were comparing stories at different experiences we've had. It's pretty freaky to think about how dangerous our jobs can be sometimes!
People are not only sick when they come in but they are usually quite angry from having waited at their doctors office for so long. This makes their fuse short and they are ready to blow.
Not being able to reach the doctor either can cause someone to flip out too.
We seem to take a lot of the brunt.
I've seen people come in with a syringe loaded with blood, threatening to jab one of us if we don't fill his narcotic prescription. We've had a lady come in with a plastic shopping bag filled with urine ready to dump it on us, but instead just throws it across the counter at us and lets it spill everywhere.
It's rather abusive sometimes, not to forget the verbal abuse we take (with a smile).
So I'm thinking... why don't we have glass to protect us like they do at the clinics?
It would stop the germ transfer to a bit.
Just a thought? What's your thoughts?

Self Explanatory

The Big Times

Bless the crazies. If it wasn't for the colourful clients, my job would be tedious.

Every night at 10pm you come in and we have the routine conversation.

Firstly, it's your eye. You call me from across the counter and ask me, "Is my eye okay"?

Pulling down your left eyelid and waiting my response, I casually reply, "Yes, it looks okay Mrs. Big".

"He's coming you know", she states.

"Who"? I ask

"John"!

"Oh how is John doing Mrs. Big?", my next question.

John is a man she has met over the internet who is in the army, has sent her a distorted photo on her cellphone and has singed eyebrows. Apparently the singed eyebrows are a big turn on for Mrs. Big.

He's going to come to sweep her off her feet one of these days.....

"Do I look bloated"? she asks.

"I haven't taken my medicine for 3 days now. Apparently it can bloat you. Am I gaining weight?".

This entire conversation goes on for 5-10 minutes every night at closing across the counter as I quickly do my last minute closing tasks.

God Bless her!

"My eye is okay though eh"?

"My son lost his job and needs me right now, should I call things off with John"? 

I love it when Mrs. Big comes into the pharmacy. I find her really neat actually. She's OCD but what the heck. Who isn't to some degree? 

Her photos of John are strange, I don't even know if John exists and hopefully it isn't someone taking advantage of her over the internet.  She seems to have a lot of friends in strange places and I think everyone is looking out for her.

Thank you Mrs. Big for brightening my evening last night.

No Comment

Dumb Ass

Okay, apparently you came into the pharmacy today. Me being the 'new' person asked if I could help you and you told me your name. I looked in the prescription 'passera' drawer, saw your name, asked you your first name (as I always do), you replied YES, paid for the medicine, went home. Called back saying you got the wrong medicine. Of course you got the wrong medicine. You have a different first name. What is wrong with you?
Why did you agree to the first and last name that I asked?
Good grief.
Two times in 2 weeks. First time in 30 years! What the hell?

Yesterday, I asked you your first name, last name and read your address out. You got pissed off at me for saying your name and address out loud so the other customers could hear it. 


You're a strange bunch!

Morning Pee

Pregnancy tests are not a techs best friend! Especially how they have to be the first urine in the morning.


Every morning at 8 a.m. when the doors open, someone always arrives at the prescription counter wanting a pregnancy test.


For $3.99 we can determine if you are preggers or not.  The requirement is your first urine of the morning, mainstreamed and bottled. 2 drops are all that is required.


There are two types of tests that can be performed. One is called the '2' minute test. This test is done on a microscope slide where I add your urine to a buffer solution and roll it around on the slide for 2 minutes. If the results look granular then it's a positive, if it looks like milk, it's a negative.  This test is not always so accurate.


The other test is the '2' hour test. 2 drops are added to a buffer in a test tube, shaken for 30 seconds and left on a rack, undisturbed for 2 full hours. If a dark red ring appears at the bottom of the tube, you're pregnant, if nothing appears, you're not.


Many times before people come in for a pregnancy test they phone and ask for the requirements. Sometimes they come to the counter and ask, but not so often.


My question and grumble is this... Why do you bring me gallons of urine? I mean seriously. Nothing smells worse than opening a jar of someones urine first thing in the morning. 


The most repulsive one I've had to date is a jumbo size mayonnaise jar a quarter filled with urine, discoloured mayo on the lid and rim and pubic hairs hanging off. This made me gag and almost vomit. The smell almost killed me, and having to reach my entire fist into the jar to get to the bottom and retrieve 2 drops was the most revolting thing I've done. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   A tiny pill bottle would be sufficient.


Pouring the remainders down the sink drain also makes me want to barf.


Another goody and a repeated one is the first urine that someone has left in their car baking in the sunshine for a few hours. 


This is just another wonderful experience I share with you and can now laugh at it.

Would You Like Ice Cream with That?

Another busy day in the pharmacy. It's not unusual for me to get calls from regulars in a panic stating they've dropped their daily medicine down the sink!


Today was just another day with similar calls to that nature.


Mrs. Gwynne had called twice worried that she may die if she doesn't take her  tablet that she dropped down the sink.  I let her speak to the pharmacist and all seemed to be well. 


Around 4:30, just as I was finishing up for the day,the phone rang. It was Mrs. Gwynne. She was clearly upset still about her lost pill.


I told her I would stop by her house on the way home. 


When I got there she had a T.V. table opened up in front of her television set and a bowl of ice cream waiting for me.!


I sat down, ate the ice cream and we had a nice long chat. Found her pill on the bathroom floor and handed it to her.


This call really was more about how lonely she is and really just wanting someone to care for her. 


Like all the elderly patients we have. I love them.  If it means once in a blue moon stopping by and having a bowl of ice cream... why not?  


I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

Bless your heart Mrs. Gwynne.  :)

Venting is Good for You!

Dear Customer, this is how I vent after dealing with you on a daily 8 hour basis.
I've been doing my job since 1976 and in this entire time, I've never lost it to a customer (yet). I've had a bag of urine tossed at me, dirty syringes thrown in my direction, taken verbal abuse and had accusations galore but still remained calm or redirected you to someone else.
Yesterday our interact machine kept screwing up and the customer was getting obviously annoyed. When I looked up at the cash register screen I noticed that there was no cursor flashing. I called over a collegue and we both saw that it seemed to be frozen. After a few moments it worked and all was well. I reassured you that machines can do that and it wasn't his fault at all. The next person was starting to experience the same thing. I kindly asked him to go to the front cash and assured him it would be much quicker.  
The next day when I came into work I was called into the managers office and she said she overhead me telling off the customer that he was screwing up the machine! This is totally a lie and so not true! I said to the customer that the machine was messing up. She clearly misunderstood but she doesn't know me as I've only been working there a month. I've never once told a customer off and I'm so hurt by the fact that she believes that I did. She also explained to me how to treat customers. This is something I love to do is interact with people and anyone who knows me or has worked with me for a long time will justify that. When you transfer your job these are scary risks. You can lose your whole career in a matter of moments if someone above you doesn't believe you or like you.


During critical moments in my career, I've performed CPR twice and that was just recently. I've received letters from clients thanking me for being so calm and helpful in these stressful moments. I'm able to stay calm when people go off and start screaming etc.


Because I've been doing this so long with the Customer is Always Right drilled into my head, I've been a victim all too many times. 
As a customer I've never stood up for myself when cashiers are nasty to me. I just stay calm and quiet. 


I've served drug addicts demanding their Oxycodones. I've served people who forge prescriptions, aim loaded syringes at me, push me, throw things at me, but still I don't raise my voice. I walk away from the situation and ask for help.


So please before you judge me. Like you, I am human. I work hard. I've worked as a single parent for 20 years, valuing my job, studying hard and always updating myself to be on top of things. 


Respect is a small thing to ask for but it's a big thing. I offer it to you. 

Lysol Overdose

Four months easily I can recall one of our techs complaining of a foul smell at her end of the pharmacy. Daily she would create clouds of Lysol to ease the stench.
It's not uncommon to have backed up toilets at our store as the thieves that steal, use our washrooms and flush evidence down and block our toilets.
But this time the toilets were clear and there was no direction as to where the stink was coming from.


Paul shows up at our counter for his weekly dis pill. Not the cleanest looking man but always very charming and complimenting the staff and smiling. 
Weekly he asks for the key to the bathroom and sometimes he remembers to return it and sometimes he doesn't. Today is one of those days that he doesn't. 
Luckily my boss keeps extra keys in the safe for those days because we use the same bathroom as the public does.  I see Paul in the discount section and run up to him and ask him for the key. "Oh, I left it in the bathroom", he replies.
"Can you show me Paul?". We walk over to the bathroom and he veers off to the right. "Where are you going Paul?", I asked. "Over here, to the bathroom". He opens the broom closet door and what I saw next made me gasped in horror out loud. There on the floor was "Mount Paul". 3 feet of poop on the floor, surrounded by dust bunnies, and 4 missing keys on key rings. 
Picture this.  A tiny room with a broom and a couple of small boxes, no lights, no toilet, no paper, just a cement floor. 
My God! 
Paul left shrugging his shoulders. What the hell did he think? Did he really think this was our bathroom? 
After the initial shock, I burst out laughing and called for the store manager.
I think I laughed my ass off all night long. This was just so 'out' there.
The next day, while working, I heard a squeaky noise going by the counter, looked up and there was the manager with his wheel barrow and shovel.


The laughter started again. And I will never forget this day I'm sure.
I now realised why the tech was getting all the foul smells. The air vents are connected and she would get first wind of it all!


Good Grief!

I Spy

"Call 911, I've got a serious problem".
As I pick up the receiver and start to punch in the numbers I hear what this customer is babbling about and quickly drop the receiver back in the cradle.


"My Landlord is watching me", she shouts. "He's got a camera in the toilet bowl and is watching every 'move' I make".
Good grief. I look over at the calendar on the wall to see if it's a circled date. Circled dates are my way of marking the full moon. Crap! Another two weeks away !


I spend a good 15 minutes reassuring her that I've had my secret service men remove the camera and she's clear to go home now.


She buys it and leaves.


I watch her get into her car and drive away. Another one, driving on the roads in total fits of paranoia. This scares me!

Smile I'm watching you read this!